The Fake News Nightly

(Washington, D.C.) An unconfirmed informant inside the White House is claiming that Vice-President Dick Cheney is a secret fan of the new pop sensation the Jonas Brothers. According to the source, the Vice-President is such a big fan that when the White House decided to film some new public service announcements promoting our National Parks, he insisted that the Jonas Brothers be used for the commercials. The informant claims that Vice-President Cheney said, and I’m quoting,

“Oh, yes let’s get those dreamy Jonas Brothers for the task. And can we get them to stop by the White House to conduct a press conference to announce their participation? Especially Joe, he’s the cute one. Can we make sure he stops by?”

The Vice-President got his wish, as he usually does, and last week the fab-trio stopped by the AP press room. But some journalists, roughly 20 years older than the pop-star siblings were taken aback by the commotion. “Who?” asked one journalist on being informed of the visit. In the press room, only those with young teens or an interest in celebrity news had ever heard of them. Vice President Dick Cheney, on the other hand, cleverly devised a plan to cover his undying love for the trio. Cheney told CNN’s Ed Henry he brought his three granddaughters to the White House to meet the brothers, wink, wink.

The public service announcement they taped on the South Lawn encourages children to be more active and to enjoy America’s national parks, especially since this administration is dead set on eliminating or violating as many of them as possible. Kevin Jonas, the moody thoughtful brother said, “Yeah, like you never know when our National Parks will disappear in our search for more oil. Peace out!”

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