Sep 05 2008
Presidential candidates provide answers to record unemployment
(Washington, DC) As the unemployment rate hit a five-year high of 6.1 percent, both presidential candidates are using the unexpectedly steep job loss report to blame the other party. In a case of the dueling blame game, Senator Barack Obama and Senator John McCain have taken turns expertly pointing out that the other candidate has no clue what to do to fix the economy and confidently eluding to vague promises they know they can accomplish, once elected, that will definitely restore growth.
To complete the triangle of cluelessness, independent candidate Ralph Nader has added that neither of the other two candidates has any idea what to do about the economy but says that we should rest assured that he knows exactly what to do, and if we’d only elect him he’d figure out what that was, and rapidly implement it. Of course, Nader reserves the right to blame either the Democrats or Republicans, whichever happens to gain the majority in the next election if, when he is elected, his policies don’t actually restore growth.
And this just in……, Bob Barr, the Libertarian presidential candidate, swears that he most absolutely, positively has a plan to restore job growth and that none of his competitors in the November elections has any clue what to do about the shockingly high jobless claims. In a recent press release the proud ex-representative of 7th District from the great state of Georgia claims, “Neither Obama nor McCain has any experience in fixing tough economic problems like this, and in fact, I do have the experience, but I’m not able to recall it at the moment.”
