The Fake News Nightly

(Golden, CO) Yesterday between stops in Colorado, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama sat down with The Fake Nightly News. While the interview ranged over various topics, in this excerpt, Obama discusses the election and analyzes his campaign.

TFNN: “Some analysts are now wondering whether the McCain campaign is failing and has lost its way. What do you think?”

Obama: “I’d have to say that there is still a long time before the American people make their choice, so I think there is ample time for either candidate to lose this election. Frankly analysts say a lot of things, sometimes you agree with them and sometimes you don’t, but when they try to make it look like John McCain is doing something we aren’t, well it just gets my competitive juices going.”

TFNN: “So what are you saying?”

Obama: “I’m saying that people don’t really think I can lose this election, but you know what? They would be wrong. I can lose this election, I know I can. Gore blew his election, and so did Kerry. So it angers me when people think I can’t lose too. I can. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to lose, just to show everyone what I’m capable of. I’m even willing to make some of the same mistakes as the Hillary campaign and the Kerry and Gore campaigns. I’m ready to go the distance to lose this election.”

TFNN: “You have mentioned that this election is about the issues, do you care to elaborate?”

Obama: “As I mentioned Gore and Kerry lost by focusing on the issues. And if I need to, I will too. If talking about the issues is going to make me lose the election, then I will. I will do whatever is necessary to lose in November. What people don’t understand is that voters seldom vote on the issues. Instead, they vote on five other factors — “character” factors: Values; Authenticity; Communication and Connection; Trust; and Identity. We’ve seen the light. When the Republicans attacked my charismatic leader persona, we gave up on it, why try to capitalize on that? That would just make our campaign stronger which is the exact opposite of what we are now shooting for.

So in contrast to our focusing on the issues what is McCain doing? Well, according to Rick Davis, McCain’s campaign manager, their campaign is “not about the issues.” You see we’re politicians we have to negate the other party, otherwise the voters will see that we’re not that different after all.

So in conclusion, our campaign is assuming that if you just tell people the truth, they will reason to the right conclusion. I trust the voters so much, I’m willing to let them reach the right conclusion, which is we’re right. And that’s what we are all about; being right. Of course, we’ll end up being right, but losing the election. Brilliant strategy, right? I knew you’d agree. Ha, and they said I couldn’t lose this election. I guess I showed them!“

Photo Courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons: othelmo da silva

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