An Editorial by Mike Ock

Today I had the strangest feeling. And I’m sorry if this gets too personal, but I’m just relating what I felt. Late in the afternoon, I had the overwhelming sensation that something was attempting to penetrate my anus. Since this was such an unexpected sensation, I instantly clenched my butt checks together. However, the sensation grew more intense and the pressure on my ass intensified.

After resisting this sensation for what seemed like hours, but was really more like minutes, I grew exhausted and surrendered. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next, I definitely felt something ram into my ass. The pressure was insane as the sensation grew and receded in a rhythmical pattern.

After this went on for a few minutes it finally dawned on me, someone was plowing my backfield. It was unmistakable. Someone was definitely having their way with my back door. Now I’m not a stranger to driving the Hershey highway. Occasionally the missus will get randy and encourage me to go to brown town, but I’m always pitching. For the first time I had the overwhelming sensation of receiving. While the sensation continued I immediately gained a new found respect for my wife as the pain began to intensify in my rectum.

Thankfully after about fifteen minutes the sensation stopped. While the attack was over, my ass was still sore and I had a little bit of trouble walking. Checking around on the web, I’ve found similar reports by other people throughout the nation. Strangely enough the feeling happened at the same time all across the country. No suggestions have been made to explain this unusual phenomenon.

I for one found the experience extremely humiliating. I had the odd feeling that somehow I had been used, raped even. Of course the notion of being sodomized by a phantom assailant was not something I was going to forget anytime soon.And I don’t that other victims around the country will either. I will offer a little friendly advice. If you don’t have a tube lying aroun, head to the pharmacy and buy some Preparation H , it helps, a little.

In other news, this afternoon the House of Representatives passed the $700 billion bailout plan and  President George Bush immediately signed the plan into law.

Photo Courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons: Jorge De Silva